Pouring Out & Filling Up: Transformative Learning, Intelligent Change, & Sustained Growth for People, Teams, & Cultures
Signature Blend: Coffee & Reflections with Josh | #04 Teamwork
When you think about teamwork, what comes to mind? Do you picture a group of people high-fiving after achieving some hard-fought victory, or maybe an individual working late into the night to make sure the team hits a critical deadline? There’s no one-size-fits-all answer here. Teamwork is as much about the individual as it is about the collective, and its impact is felt on a personal, team, and organizational level. But to me, teamwork has always been about this: pouring out into others and allowing them to pour into me.
While pouring into others can take the appearance, and sometimes even the form, of humility, allowing others to pour into me always demands the precursors to effective teamwork: my deep roots in humility, identity, and resilience.
I’ve lived, written/spoken about, and coached others through this a lot over the years, and no matter what role I’ve worked tirelessly to earn and develop—from U.S. Marine Staff Noncommissioned Officer to Professional Rugby Player to Husband to Infantry Officer to Father to Developmental Psychologist to Personal/Executive Coach—I’ve seen how essential this concept is for transformative learning, intelligent change, and sustained growth.
My definition of teamwork is grounded in the belief that “we pursue and welcome a culture of collaboration and feedback from inside and outside our team, ultimately promoting timeless and unbiased growth.” And as I reflect on my experiences, I realize that this approach transforms learning, leadership, and life itself.
Individual Level: It Starts at the Start
In a letter I wrote to a young man, Maddox, about to enter adulthood, I laid out what it means to truly show up for people. I said, “Investing in relationships should cost us more than just thoughts and words that flow out of our self-fascinated brains; the cost is to physically show up and be present.” This truth applies not just to relationships but to every kind of teamwork we experience on an individual level.
When I coach leaders, we talk about this—how giving and receiving feedback is not just a checkbox to tick but a reciprocal, active engagement with those around us. It’s easy to keep relationships transactional, but true teamwork means stepping into the ring fully present, not just to give but to receive. For instance, a top-level executive I coached once struggled with offering ideas and asking questions (to which they didn’t know the answer) during team meetings. They thought they had to wait for the perfect idea while protecting a facade of having all of the information as the leader. Through our sessions, we focused on being both a contributor and a receiver, making space for others to shine while building the confidence to share, ask vulnerable questions, and use their position of influence to impact reflective, honest, and positive change.
This shift from self-fascination to presence—true humility—is the first step in true teamwork, and it’s something I try to model in all my client relationships. After all, as I wrote to Maddox, “It’s hard to invest and make a difference in someone with whom you never interact and from whom you isolate.” Teamwork at the individual level starts when we choose to step out of isolation and be truly present.
Team Level: Making a Difference > Making a Point
At its core, teamwork is the driving force behind every great team’s success. I’ve seen this play out firsthand in the Joint Operations Planning Group Leaders Workshop (JOPGLWS) that I lead and facilitate across all of NATO. In these workshops, we’re not there to give participants all the answers. In fact, we flip the script entirely. Our facilitators are not “keepers of wisdom” but rather people who “foster an environment where all participants can contribute to and benefit from shared expertise and practical solutions.”
As seen in the following image, an excerpt from my JOPGLWS guided discussion on Critical & Creative Thinking Techniques, I coach leaders to empower a winning culture of teamwork by engaging curiosity and energizing creativity.
In my experience coaching military senior leaders and planners, high-level executives, small business owners, young professionals, and more—let's just concisely say people of vast demographics across the globe—I’ve yet to find someone who values theory or doctrine that doesn’t withstand the test of, or serve its purpose in, practical application. Real life is more than theory alone; we are called to be practitioners of our talents. For these reasons, we are best served by refraining from trying to make a theoretical point and investing in making a practical difference. The former often looks self-absorbed and pompous and the latter often looks like hard, collaborative work.
This is where my mantra, Victory Through HIRT (Humility. Identity. Resilience. Teamwork.), really comes into play. It’s not just about what you know but how you allow others to sharpen your edges and how you sharpen theirs. I remember one large-scale NATO exercise where a diverse group of operational-level military planners came together to tackle a joint synchronization issue. The solutions they arrived at weren’t because any one person had the answer; rather, it was the result of collective brainstorming, critique, and adjustment. Their success was born from a culture of collaboration and resilience that we had shored up during our JOPGLWS.
You see, teamwork at this level is more than just doing your part. It’s about showing up in humility, contributing your unique perspective, and being resilient when the feedback forces you to shift your approach. That’s where real growth happens.
Organizational Level: Top-Down Cultures Yield Grass-Roots Change
On a larger scale, teamwork transforms organizations. During one of our NATO workshops, a senior executive/leader listened as I unveiled that his team was missing a crucial element in their planning process: there was no standard operating procedure for managing a critical planning horizon transition. In just 30 minutes of a collaborative discussion I facilitated, we developed a framework that not only identified but also bridged this gap. But here’s the kicker: this wasn’t simply about establishing a non-existent process. It was about embedding a collaborative culture within the organization itself where, from the executive leader on down, all were quick to listen to, slow to speak over, and deliberate to understand the needs of the entire team.
When it comes to framing the mindset of an effective team, I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again: “We pursue and welcome a culture of collaboration and feedback from inside and outside our team, ultimately promoting timeless and unbiased growth.” When organizations embrace this mindset, they move beyond rigid hierarchies and create spaces where leaders at every level feel empowered to contribute. It’s not just about systems and processes; it’s about how we function together as a body of people with diverse experiences, perspectives, and strengths.
In fact, I think back to what I wrote to Maddox: “Our heads/hands/hearts and all we strive to accomplish through the labor of every fiber of our being are meant to be poured out for others.” In organizations, we do this by creating space for others to give and receive, whether through formal processes like feedback loops or informal moments of reflection and learning.
Victory Through HIRT: Tying It All Together
When I think about how teamwork plays out across these different levels—individual, team, and organizational—it always circles back to one thing: the ability to pour out into others and allow them to pour into you. As a coach, I see this play out every day. I’m not just helping clients develop skills; I’m helping them tap into a deeper understanding of how reflection, feedback, and collaboration lead to growth. Whether it’s a personal relationship, a team striving for victory, or an organization aiming to create enduring, purposeful change, the proper view of teamwork makes all the difference.
My guiding principles of Humility, Identity, Resilience, and Teamwork are more than a mantra—they’re a way of life. Victory Through HIRT isn’t achieved alone. It’s built on collaborative feedback and a shared commitment to growth. If you’re looking to transform your own journey or that of your team or organization, ask yourself: How am I pouring out into others? And more importantly, how am I allowing them to pour into me?
Letting HIRT Guide Our Future Virtue, Focus, & Growth
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As we conclude our introductory series on our guiding principles of HIRT and step into the upcoming weeks, be sure to follow along across all social media platforms. You won’t want to miss out on the bi-weekly virtues, guests, and growth on our horizon. See the list below, and visit The Vault for your one-stop shop on all past, present, and future virtues! Whoever you are and wherever you are, you are always welcomed and you are always worth it. Remember, I’m with you on your left.
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